Melissa Bolger, MA, LMFT

Melissa Bolger

Therapist
Clinical Supervisor

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and have been providing therapy since 2015. I have had the honor to meet and work with hundreds of people on issues related to family, peer, and romantic relationships, identity exploration, conflict with others, and trying to figure out “what next” in many different contexts.

My style of therapy is structured, but relaxed. You will find that each session is set up similarly, but flexible with what is needed week to week. In my sessions, I welcome humor and authenticity, challenging and respect. My clients typically express feeling able to show up as yourself and be seen in all of your own beautiful chaos, and end the session feeling more settled and hopeful.

While I have experience with clients across the lifespan and presenting with a wide variety of concerns, I currently work only with adults and focus primarily on presenting concerns related to conflict within relationships, including discernment counseling, changes in family structure related to separation/divorce/remarriage, difficulties in parenting, and supporting relationships between adult children and their parents.

The parts of me that show up outside of work are not entirely separate of the parts of me that show up in my work as a therapist. I am a heterosexual, cisgendered female and use she/her pronouns. I am a wife and a parent to two young children with their own unique needs. I’m also the child of a complex family. I feel strongly about being an ally; giving space to and amplifying the voice of those in marginalized communities. I’m always eager to learn more, experience more. In my free time, I love spending time outside, traveling, reading, doing yoga, and being with friends and family.

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“I want you to get excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.”

-Virginia Satir

What I believe about therapy:

  • Life has ups and downs. Therapy helps us learn to ride, not avoid, the waves.

  • We each have the capacity to create change within ourselves and our lives; therapy is an avenue for support in doing so.

  • Social justice issues, political issues, and cultural issues are therapy issues. We cannot exist outside the influence of these things and ignoring them in the name of comfort is a disservice to all.

  • Therapy is most useful when there is a good fit between the therapist and the client. If I’m not the right fit for you, let’s find someone who is.

  • Sometimes we engage in therapy for months or years, sometimes only weeks. Each person’s needs are unique.

  • You can do hard things. You already are.

Approach

I am a systemic therapist, meaning I view each of us as existing within various systems - family systems, cultural systems, social systems, political systems - all of which impact who we are, how we think, and the ways we behave. In session, I am process oriented and will work with you to build insight and understanding. We will identify and build upon the strengths you already have to address the issues you are facing. I utilize an eclectic approach to fit the needs of the people in front of me and typically draw from narrative, collaborative, attachment, and developmental theories of therapy.

Trainings

I have participated in numerous trainings, formally and informally, throughout my career. I continue to seek out new information and attend new trainings every year. Formal training events attended include:

    • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

      • Part 1 - Judy Cabeceiras, LMFT

      • Part 2 - Janet Wright, LCSW

      • A Master Class on EMDR Therapy, Complex Trauma, Attachment and Dissociation with Children - Ana Gomez, MC, LPC

      • When There Are No Words: Reprocessing Early Trauma & Neglect Held in Implicit Memory - Sandra Paulsen, PhD

      • Refresher - Roxanne Grobbel, JD, LCSW, RPT-S

    • Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

      • Basic & Advanced Trainings - David Hong, PsyD, LP

    • Theraplay & MIM, Level One - Cindy Perkins, LCPC, CTT & Alexis Greeves, LPCC, RPT-S

    • Developmental Repair - Anne Gearity, Lauren Nietz

    • The Body Keeps the Score: Trauma Healing - Bessel van der Kolk, MD

    • Adverse Childhood Experiences and Trauma Informed Care - AIAFS

    • Gottman Method Couples Therapy: Level 1 - Caralee Frederic, LGSW

    • Discernment Counseling for Couples Considering Divorce - William Doherty, PhD & Steven Harris, PhD

    • Beyond the Person in the Room: Couple Sensitive Individual Therapy - William Doherty, PhD & Steven Harris, PhD

    • Complex Family Systems Training - Lori Thibodeau, MA, LMFT & Erin Pash, MA, LMFT

    • High Conflict Relationships: Helping the Stuck Client - Jenni McBride McNamara, MA, LMFT

    • Divorce Topics in Therapy - Erin Pash, MA, LMFT

    • Introduction to Sex Therapy: Managing Clincial Anxiety and the Value of Integration - Sophia Pimsler, MA, LMFT

    • Therapy with Trans and Gender Questioning Clients - Kristen Paradise, MS, LPCC & Bennett Zielinski, MS, LPCC, LMHC, RPT

    • Honoring Non-normativity: Attending to Dominating Discourses in Therapeutic Practice - Julie Tilsen, MA, LP, PhD

    • Intercultural Bridging: The Differences that May Make a Difference - Kamyala Howard, MSW, LICSW

    • Diversity Made Simple: Multicultural Awareness & Diversity Training for Helping Professionals - Lambers Fisher, MS, LMFT, MDiv

    • Disarming Microaggressions - Talee Vang, PsyD

    • Working with Individuals Diagnosed with Personality Disorders - Malcolm Horn, LCSW, MAC, SAP

    • Promoting Healing for the Dying: Practical Tools to Support Those Living with Serious Illness - Lacy Osborne, MSW, LICSW

    • Ethics in Interprofessional Behavioral Health - Frederic Reamer, PhD

    • Ethical Practices and Procedures for Mandated Reporting - Kelly Pieper, MSW, LICSW

    • Board Approved Supervisor Training - Ellie Mental Health

Experience

In 2010, I completed my Bachelors degree at University of Missouri in Human Development and Family Studies.

I became a Certified Child Life Specialist in 2011 and worked at Children’s Minnesota until 2016 supporting children and their families in coping with hospitalizations and emergent care, providing grief support, and creating space for typical child development in the not-so-typical hospital setting.

In 2013, I returned to graduate school and received my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota, graduating in 2015.

I completed my internship at Washburn Center for Children in 2015 and transitioned directly to an employee in the Crisis Stabilization program. In 2017, I shifted to the Intensive In Home program, where I provided in home therapy to children aged 5-18 years old and their families who were in need of intensive mental health care.

In 2020, I transitioned to providing outpatient therapy at Ellie Mental Health where I worked with people 5 years old to 80 years old on a wide variety of issues.

Grounding Space Therapy was founded in 2022 as my private practice and I began and meeting with teens and adults, doing the work with the people I feel most drawn to and eager to meet with day in and day out.

In 2023, I began my term as a Board Member for the Minnesota Association for Marriage and Family Therapy where I am able to support our state level professional organization, advocate for clients and therapists, as well as give back to the mental health community.